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Simple rules to save a marriage



Part Two: the lack of constant creation on the marriage for their future.


The second factor why a marriage fails is the lack of PURPOSE AND LACK OF CREATION. 


What I mean lack of purpose? It's creation of the survival path for future goals. It can be creating for the education of your children, the goals of the day or week, the goals to continue feeding your dreams as a couple and many more. Each day you have to create the existence of the association of being together. 

 

When life gets in AUTOMATIC mode, like morning rush, traffic, kid's homework, what's for dinner, bills, stress, tiredness.... you know the list, you forget to create the existence of your marriage. Marriage is a unit of two individuals that has to be self-created, self perpetuating and self-protect for each other. It is the building block in our society and a society that has a marriage institution on the wrecks is a society in its way to destruction. 

The easy way out is the divorce, but the havoc or destruction that comes along is worst, mostly for the children in the family. Yes there are extreme cases of physical abuse that it is necessary in most cases to dissolve the marriage. 

But if you are not in that category and you are considering divorce or you are going through a crisis, you can save and handle your marriage. 

People think that putting the marriage on automatic will have good results. How many times I've heard that "my marriage doesn't have the spark, he doesn't pay attention to me, she is fat, he works too much, etc." It is simply they have stopped creating the marriage. There are no real goals. It's like a plant, if you don't give it water, sunlight and good soil, it will perish. 

You don't have to do heroic acts to create the marriage. 


Everyday small details and actions will help the action of creating in the marriage:

 

  • a nice text message or kind words for the spouse 
  • good acknowledgement of any thing done around the house
  • being supportive on decisions he or she is doing
  • be interested on what the other person is doing at work and life in general
  • LISTENING and not arguing
  • Acknowledging the reality of your spouse and try to understand it. 
  • Using the A-R-C triangle that I explained in Part One of this series. 

 

I am married for 21 years, and we still have the spark of like being dating still. Yes we have argued, and I have gotten mad at him but I apply the above things and I NEVER NEVER go to bed angry with him. Every day we try to create the marriage in very simple ways and still we are in love to each other. We have gone through rough times, financially, health wise and many other things. But still we are together and love each other. 


Sometimes we think we need to take drastic measures to handle things. In my experience, usually is THE TOUGHER THE CASE THE SIMPLER THE REMEDY. And that is the beauty of the LIFE REPAIRS. 


In my next article I will explain when the marriage seems to be a total loss and it's on its way to divorce, what lies underneath and how can be handle for good. 


Apply these simple tools and you'll see some changes. 




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